"Titan" Your Jock Straps, The 2020 Corner Cube NFL Team of The Year Award Is Out!

Americans love awards because we love winners. We have rankings for everything. Literally BuzzFeed keeps on churning because of its endless amounts of rankings and left of center news articles that pull the heart strings of every millennial (ranking the best frozen pizzas, ranking every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Just look at the amount of country music award shows (country music! The stuff that your racist uncle jams to when he is on his 12^th can of Busch Light and going 80 down “some ‘ol backroad” in his Ford F-150): Academy of Country Music Awards, CMA Awards, American Country Countdown Awards, and the CMT Music Awards. But none of these, not in popularity, not in reverence, not in bragging rights amount to the callosal weight that The CornerCube NFL Team of The Year Award (usually referred to as simply, CCNTOTYA. It just rolls right off the tongue!) provides.

The CCNFLTOTYA uses the same requirements as the inaugural awards, the CCNTOTYA (or The Cornercube NBA Team of The Year Award) to be initially considered for being bequeathed this decoration:

1. Team must have made the playoffs;
2. A team must have won more games in the current year’s regular season than the previous year’s regular season and;
3. If the team’s regular season record is unchanged between the current and previous year, then it must have a better postseason standing than in the previous year.

2020 CCNFLTOTYA Finalists (Based Upon the Initial Requirements)
AFC	NFC
Baltimore Ravens	San Francisco 49ers
Kansas City Chiefs	Green Bay Packers
New England Patriots	New Orleans Saints
Houston Texans	Philadelphia Eagles
Buffalo Bills	Seattle Seahawks
Tennessee Titans	Minnesota Vikings

 

So, the initial criteria only chipped away three teams, which means the decision comes down to the intuitive knowledge that rests in the minds of your correspondents at The Conercube home office (we didn’t pay the internet bill this month. So, let’s hope we can pump this blog out before Spectrum catches up to us).

The next step is to eliminate those teams that, yes, by the letter of the law they have improved, but they don’t deserve to hoist the 2020 CCNFLTOTYA. We can call this group the “well duh” group. It’s not that they aren’t great, because these teams are but it’s just that no one should be falling over in his chair at the feats that these teams accomplished. For instance, New England did improve their regular season record compared to the previous year, and with a less prolific team. However, they still had Tom Brady and Bill Belichick running the show and please don’t forget they are the defending Super Bowl Champions. Saying that they deserve the award after winning the previous year’s Super Bowl is all too simple and furthermore, America expected them to do well this year.

The Baltimore Ravens are another team in a similar position as the Patriots. The emergence of Ravens’ quarterback, Lamar Jackson, has been spectacular (for anyone outside the AFC North, which, because The Cornercube has a bias towards Cleveland, we dislike Baltimore and in turn, due to proxy, dislike Lamar Jackson. Sorry, it’s just politics.) and he broke Michael Vick’s rushing record, it wasn’t like we weren’t expecting this team to be great. In 2018 Jackson took over at quarterback, once starting quarterback and Super Bowl winning quarterback, Joe Flacco, went down due to injury. Jackson was able to finish the season on a 6-1 run and an overall record of 10-6 to not only make the playoffs, but also win the AFC North Division. So again, the turnaround was already expected from the Ravens, especially once they traded Flacco in the offseason which all but assured us that Lamar was their “ride or die.” Are the Ravens a great team? Yes. Is Lamar Jackson a great quarterback? Yes. Should a team who was led by a Heisman winning first round quarterback, and whose division consisted of a 2-win team, a hapless, lackluster ball of poo team (that’d be our Browns!!) and a team that finished the season with a quarterback named “Duck”, really be awarded CCNFLTOTYA? Hell, to the no!

The last team to fall within the “well duh” group is the Green Bay Packers - the team that seems to always win their division. Wait but the Packers missed the playoffs twice in row before this season, that must be an accomplishment. Right? Wrong. In 2017 the Packers missed out on the playoffs because Aaron Rodgers was hurt and in 2018 they missed out because the defense was mediocre, and their offense was literally just Aaron Rodgers (it ranked 22^nd in the run and 9^th in the pass). This year the Packers on offense and defense have done worse. Their offense ranks 18^th in the league (17^th in the past and 15^th in the run) and their defense still holds true at 18, despite falling in both pass defense (14^th) and run defense (23^rd). Not to mention the Packers schedule was not too difficult. They got to play the three-win Lions twice and the hapless Bears twice. Then they got the worst division in football to play (NFC East), and their only marquee win comes against the Kansas City Chiefs who were without their starting quarterback and 2018 NFL MVP, Patrick Mahomes. They lost to the NFC East champions, Philadelphia Eagles and NFC West champions, San Francisco 49ers (badly to the 49ers we might add. 37-8) and then lost a home game at the San Diego Chargers (we refuse to believe they are a Los Angeles team). This team appears to be a paper tiger whose hope is still Aaron Rodgers.

2020 CCNFLTOTYA Finalists (Based Upon the Initial Requirements and the “Well Duh” Group)
AFC	NFC
Baltimore Ravens	San Francisco 49ers
Kansas City Chiefs	Green Bay Packers
New England Patriots	New Orleans Saints
Houston Texans	Philadelphia Eagles
Buffalo Bills	Seattle Seahawks
Tennessee Titans	Minnesota Vikings

 

The Philadelphia Eagles and the San Francisco 49ers are disqualified but for two opposite reasons. The Eagles had to be in the playoffs because they happened to win their division, that is the trash heap called the, NFC East. Yes, they were plagued by injuries, but most other teams were as well. Furthermore, they were plagued by injuries in the worst division in football. They played valiantly in their playoff game against the Seahawks but came up short. There was also that time when their head coach, Doug Pederson, guaranteed that they would go down to Dallas and “win that football game.” It was a laughable moment because it appeared Pederson didn’t realize that no one really cared who won the NFC East because it was  a division that was more of a race to the bottom than a competition to the playoffs. On the opposite end of the spectrum sits the San Francisco 49ers. A team that had to fight and claw to win its division and a win that came down to literally a blade of grass and the end zone. Yet, to see the 49ers do so well isn’t a shock, but rather an expectation. The 49ers were picked to finish second in the NFC West and finished first. With their quarterback fully healthy, their running back fully healthy and a loaded defense (with the addition of Rookie of the Year candidate, Nick Bosa) it was expected they’d make the playoffs barring a dire injury.

However, the Seattle Seahawks were that team who broke expectations and nearly won their division. This would be shocking if The Cornercube forgot that this is a team with a stacked defense and an MVP caliber quarterback, in Russell Wilson. It just wasn’t surprising that two teams (San Francisco and Seattle) came out of this division. The NFC West provided America with the most entertaining football to watch. However, Seattle finished as the fifth seed this year, and did the same last year. It is noted that they did improve their record to 11-5 from the previous year of 10-6. This team, unfortunately, is a Super Bowl caliber team and because of that is at the disadvantage of winning the CCNFLTOTYA.

2020 CCNFLTOTYA Finalists
AFC	NFC
Baltimore Ravens	San Francisco 49ers
Kansas City Chiefs	Green Bay Packers
New England Patriots	New Orleans Saints
Houston Texans	Philadelphia Eagles
Buffalo Bills	Seattle Seahawks
Tennessee Titans	Minnesota Vikings

 

The Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills are both disappointments. Both teams looked promising. The Vikings looked promising this year, just as they looked promising in 2018. The Bills, although not picked to do anything substantial this year, became promising as they started to accumulate wins. The issue with the Bills is that although they made the playoffs and nearly beat the Houston Texans in the Wild Card Round of the playoffs, they failed to have any notable wins. The two that Booger McFarland and Joe Tessitore cited during the wild card game broadcast were against Dallas and the Steelers. However, the Steelers were led by a quarterback with the name of “Duck” and Dallas, unknown to us at the time the Bills played but known to us now, were nothing more than a flash of greatness. The Buffalo Bills needed to be a team that the greats fear and they couldn’t put fear into anyone. In some instances, like against the Browns, the Bills looked like a team trying to lose (which they did) than a team trying to win. In the second half of the wild card game the Bills looked atrocious. Josh Allen was a world beater in the first half only to leave his brain behind when coming out of the locker room to start the second half. For instance, when Josh Allen ridiculously and inexcusably, lateraled a ball to the sideline only for it to  thankfully be batted out of bounds by his teammate, whose brain was still intact (this will be blogged about more in depth because, it’s just too good not to).

The Vikings are a team that every year is picked to win its division and claims to have the pieces to win a Super Bowl. It was predicted that Minnesota was a Super Bowl caliber team when Kirk Cousins signed his fully guaranteed contract back in 2018. Kirk Cousins they said, was the missing piece. However, Kirk finally won his first post-season game last week and Mike Zimmer appears to have kept his job in Minnesota. The CCNFLTOTYA is not presented to a team who is celebrating because their quarterback won his first playoff game after failing to win any primetime games, let alone his division. This team was picked to go 11-5 and win its division. They failed to accomplish both of these goals’ expectations. No award for you Minnesota.

The Tennessee Titans are the 2020 CCNFLTOTYA Winners! Congrats! They were picked to land third in the AFC South and fail to make the playoffs. It even appeared that way until during Week 6 the Titans’ second year head coach, Mike Vrabel, replaced starting quarterback, Marcus Mariota, with cast away, and former Dolphins’ quarterback, Ryan Tannehill, for help. No matter that Tennessee lost the Week 6 game, since Week 7, and Tannehill under center, the Titans have averaged 2.43 points per drive (6^th) and 28.2 points per game (2^nd). With running back Derrick Henry controlling the line of scrimmage and dominating games and becoming the back that was expected when he came out of Alabama, the Titans are a force to be reckoned with. They knocked off the defending Super Bowl champions by relying on their tight defense and managing the clock by relying on Henry in the run game. A team with a young coach, players who were either forgotten or assumed to be busts has surprised America, and by doing so has received the 2020 CCNFLTOTYA!

 

Morals Have Become the Exception, Not the Rule. Sad.

The NFL Pro Bowl, an event that routinely bores fans as much as watching the 1978 Best Picture Winner, The Deer Hunter. Not only does the Pro Bowl lack any sort of meaning but what it generally lacks in entertainment value it makes up for in aberration. This year’s Pro Bowl may actually come with some entertainment value, albeit off the gridiron, as the NFL has once again thrown morality to the wind.

Unbeknownst to The Cornercube the NFL, apparently, selects “honorary captains” at the Pro Bowl for each team (NFC Team and AFC Team). This year the NFL selected as one of its four “honorary captains” former Atlanta Falcons quarterback, Michael Vick. Although Michael Vick revolutionized the NFL by being the first quarterback to rush for over 1,000 yards in a single season (a feat that wouldn’t be broken until, ironically, this year by the Raven’s quarterback, Lamar Jackson), Michael Vick is also remembered as being a felon for his role in running a dogfighting ring in which he abused, tortured and even killed dogs who did not perform well in fights. Once Vick finished serving his 18-month federal prison sentence he would return to the NFL in 2009, playing for the Philadelphia Eagles, New York Jets, and Pittsburgh Steelers and eventually retiring in 2017. Vick is now a football analyst for FOX.

Despite NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell’s claims that Vick, since being released from prison, has been an advocate for animal rights issues, many Animal Rights Activists are petitioning the NFL to remove Vick as an honorary captain at the Pro Bowl. In fact, one such activist group has gained over 560,000 signatures seeking Vick’s removal. As cbsnews.com reported, the petition stated, “[t]o honor a man who had zero regard for animals is unacceptable and I would like your help to make sure he is NOT honored at the 2020 NFL Pro Bowl.” On the other hand, Rodger Goodell believes that Vick has “paid a heavy price” and that because Vick has worked with animals’ rights groups, such as the Humane Society, he has been accountable for and learned from his mistakes and therefore should be named an honorary captain.

The issue with this whole disagreement is the very fact that it seems confusing how a former NFL player becomes an “honorary captain.” The NFL gives very little indication regarding the requirements to become an honorary captain and just provides a brief synopsis of the honorary captains’ role. The role of an honorary captain is to be a “mentor” to the Pro Bowl players. First, the idea that professional athletes need mentors on the sideline for a game that means absolutely nothing, is ridiculous. If the “honorary captain” was solely named due to his ability on the field, then the animal rights activists’ argument is moot, since they are missing the purpose of the captain. However, the fact that the NFL specifically stated that the “honorary captains” will be acting as “mentors” provides some sort of moral stature that players (again, professional athletes, not some high school team) should look up to.

The NFL has a yearly award called, The Walter Payton Man of the Year Award. This award is presented to a player for his volunteer and charity work, as well as excellence on the field. This award is not new and has been presented since 1970, when Johnny Unitas became the inaugural winner (prior to 1999 the award was simply called, NFL Man of the Year Award). In turn, the NFL has a plethora of players to choose from who are both upstanding citizens and excellent players. Therefore, these players could both be deserving of the title of “honorary captain” and act as legitimate “mentors” to the Pro Bowl Players.

The NFL, as it always does, has placed itself in this moral gymnastics’ dilemma, in which instead of just giving in, they hold their ground and defend their moral ambiguity. Goodell seems to be reasoning that because Vick has turned his life around and done good, that he deserves to represent the NFL and be a mentor. That’s fine, but some past bad actions, no matter the time or recourse done to mitigate the damages, simply preclude the actor from reaching certain milestones.

However, society has either become all too forgivable or simply desensitized by egregious actions. The latter seems to be holding truer than the former. For instance, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, in his high school and college years, was accused of sexually assaulting women and one such victim even testified during his Senate nomination hearing to such egregious behavior. The Senate, even with hearing quite convincing testimony, ruled that these past actions will have no bearing on Kavanaugh’s ability to be an impartial and fair judge, a judge who will rule on women’s rights matters, such as abortion.  Then, of course, the Commander in Chief, Donald Trump, can payoff porn stars for sex, brag about “grabbing women by the pussy”,  make fun of a journalist with a disability, call White Supremacists “good people”, disavow all Hispanic migrants as “rapists”, bribe a foreign power for personal political gain and consistently refuse to follow and uphold the rule of law (i.e. the Constitution), still has half of America saying (ironically after coming out of church), “that’s our guy!” Then of course there is the Republican Senate, which should be held liable for their willful negligence in failing to uphold the Constitution and check the President’s abuses.

So, if you are appalled by the fact that Michael Vick is named an “honorary captain”, open your eyes. America, and the world, have fallen into this frightening sense in which character, morals, sacrifice and a good heart are sidelined, while the preference for amorality, fear, anger, selfishness, and a lack of sincerity prevail.

The Cornercube believes that Michael Vick has learned from his terrible actions. However, The Cornercube does not believe that Michael Vick should represent the NFL after embarrassing it so terribly. Goodell shouldn’t be celebrating Vick’s ability to act rationally or morally, Goodell, like the rest of us, should have simply required it. Holding someone to a simple level of morality, especially someone who will hold a great deal of power, shouldn’t be hard for society to do, it should come naturally. 

The Greatest Rivalry In All Of Sport...That You've Never Heard Of!

 

It’s that time of year when college football takes a hiatus prior to bowl season revving up; the Browns are clearly the disappointment that no one wanted to believe, but deep down knew they would be; and the NBA is still in that funk where apparently the games count but, they don’t. That leaves the sports fan gasping like a fish out of water for any minute breath of meaningful competition. That’s where college basketball comes into play.

The Cornercube has strayed away from writing about college basketball for the most part. This was because The Cornercube believes, and our readers may vehemently disagree, that it is imperative to write “what you know” and, we don’t really know college basketball. Sure, The Cornercube IT personnel help and assist with penetrating their facilities’ firewalls and in turn, stream NCAA March Madness, but only for the first two rounds. Frankly, with blue chips schools churning out new rosters every year, due to the NBA’s lax entry rules, it becomes difficult to grasp any continuity between the years. Further, there are so many teams, it becomes difficult to know who is worth watching. Finally, since the college basketball season is so long, like the NBA, it becomes difficult to know if a regular season game really matters.

This conundrum was set aside as your correspondent watched, from his treadmill (yes … back at the gym), The Ocean State Rivalry. For the unaware the “Ocean State” is the nickname for the state of Rhode Island. The rivalry is between the Providence College Friars and the University of Rhode Island Rams. There were several reasons for why this rivalry was entertaining to watch.

First, it was the only live sport on as I wheezed myself to the finish line. Live sports are the easiest show to watch while exercising because there isn’t a need for sound or deep concentration. Think about it – I am watching this game while “running” but there is probably some other dude in a dive bar outside of Pawtucket, four boilermakers deep, and he still knows what’s going on. The second reason is that the game was entertaining and both teams were playing well. Although the final score was Rhode Island 75-61, the game was close throughout. Thirdly, the game meant something. Unlike the famous “Tobacco Road Rivalry” which is played twice each season between Duke University and North Carolina University, the Ocean State Rivalry is only played once during the season. Therefore, this one game will likely decide who holds the bragging rights for the remainder of the year.

The most important reason this game was so entertaining was because it caused the viewer, me, to get engaged and pick a side.  That side was the Rhode Island Rams because, in your correspondence’s view, the Rams seemed like the ugly step-sister to their “glorious” parochial school rival.

Both teams have pedigrees for sending players to the NBA. University of Rhode Island has seen sixteen players in the NBA with the most notable being Lamar Odom (1999), Cuttino Mobley (1998), and Sly Williams (1979). Providence College, which has the much richer basketball history, has sent 28 players to the NBA, with one currently playing in the NBA – Kris Dunn (2016). Providence also has a 74-56 edge in the all-time series and has won 11 of the last 17. The Cornercube also underwent a scientific study in which it reviewed each team’s Wikipedia page. The University of Rhode Island’s had a total of four sections, whereas Providence College’s had a total of 7 sections, including an extremely lengthy section dedicated to its history (University of Rhode Island has no such section).

Although Providence College has the more robust basketball pedigree, it also seems Providence, the place, is more important than the state of Rhode Island. For instance, the Ryan Center which is the arena in which the University of Rhode Island Rams play holds a total of 7,657 people. On the other hand, Dunkin’ Donuts Center, the home of the Friars, holds nearly twice that amount – 12,500. Logically it would be assumed that Providence has a larger student body population compared to Rhode Island, but that isn’t true. Rhode Island has a total student population of 17,064 and Providence College has a total student population of roughly 4,550. Providence is just a quarter of the size of the University of Rhode Island and yet has an arena that holds nearly twice as many people than the University of Rhode Island. The disproportion in arenas may be because Providence College holds an endowment twice as large as Rhode Island’s at $238.5 million.

The County of Providence makes up more than half of the electorate in Rhode Island. In the 2016 election Clinton was able to win the state’s popular vote almost entirely because she won Providence County (although in all fairness every other major Rhode Island county went for Clinton except for Kent). Believe it or not, the state of Rhode Island’s name isn’t just “Rhode Island” but rather the, State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. Rhode Island seems to be pieced together similarly to how Czechoslovakia was glued together and that didn’t last! So, until Rhode Island, the state, and Rhode Island the university receive their very much deserved respect from Providence - the city and the college, The Cornercube will always raise a toast saying the University of Rhode Island’s motto, Think Big. We Do.

In Loving Memory of Phillip Michael Rivers (37 years)

It was the largest funeral that your correspondent had ever attended. An estimated 76,000 people were boxed into Azteca Stadium in Mexico City to watch the burial of Phillip Rivers. The procession lasted for about three and half hours and it was a gruesome procession at that. It wasn’t just the fact that Rivers threw four interceptions, fumbled the ball twice (one in which he lost), had the ball awkwardly fall out of his hands (luckily for him it was called an incomplete pass and not another fumble) and the fact that at one point Rivers threw a bullet pass right into the helmet of the Chiefs’ defensive lineman, Chris Jones. No, it was all of this combined with the fact that Rivers looked like a man who was shell shocked. A man who feared being on the field, a man who forgot the simple mechanics of passing, a man who, as once quoted so elegantly by the Jets’ quarterback, Sam Darnold, “was seeing ghosts.”

But was he seeing ghosts because the Kansas City Chiefs defense was that good or has Phillip Rivers lost his physical giftedness that all football players require in order to perform their duties adequately? The answer is the latter. Aside from his 50-yard completion to wide receiver, Mike Williams, who deserves more credit for making that catch than Rivers for making that the throw, Rivers looked awful. However, Rivers has looked bad this whole season. Rivers’ passer rating (85.5) ranks in the bottom 10 of all current starting quarterbacks and has thrown the second most interceptions this year (Jameis Winston is last). In fact, Rivers has thrown a combined seven interceptions in just his last two games. But it’s not just the picks that are so embarrassing but rather the blatantly ugly throws being made that leaves everyone scratching their heads and wondering, “is he trying to lose the game?” Specifically, the failed two-minute drive, which was capped by Rivers’ fourth pick during the game, had Rivers going four for eleven passing. One of these misses went straight into the ground and nosedived just a yard away from where Rivers was standing. This “pass” was so awkward that the refs at first called it a fumble and allowed the play to continue (upon review it was ruled an incomplete forward pass). One missed pass in this drive occurred when Rivers threw a bomb, out of bounds, and the nearest receiver was tripled covered. Another missed throw was to a wide-open receiver who ran a post route, but the ball fell five to seven yards short (and it wasn’t tipped).

Everyone on the Chargers played better than the Chiefs except for Phillip Rivers. The Chargers held last year’s MVP, Kansas City Chiefs’ quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, to just 63 yards passing in the first half. The Chargers had more first downs, more time of possession, more total yards, more passing yards, more plays and more total yards per play than the Chiefs. Actually, if it wasn’t for Rivers’ four picks, the Chargers would have probably won the game. This is the worst part about Phillip Rivers’ whole demise – everyone realizes that the future hall of fame quarterback is no longer winning games but losing games for the Chargers. With Rivers’ contract up in 2020, it seems all too likely that the Chargers will move on from Rivers.

The demise of Rivers and the decision to move on from him is no easy maneuver. Below are Rivers’, Eli Manning’s, and Peyton Manning’s Quarter Back Rating statistics (“QBR”) and interceptions from the 2006 through the 2018 seasons (note that Peyton’s information goes through 2015 as that was the year he retired).

 

To ascertain a trend for when it is typical to depart from a franchise quarterback is difficult to determine from the metrics above. Peyton Manning’s QBR and interceptions correlate together. For instance, during Peyton’s worse year, 2015 (and the last year he played), he had his worse QBR and also threw his most picks. Eli is more erratic in that even when he throws a lot of picks (i.e. 2010) his QBR is still holding steady at around 60. However, notice that since 2015 his QBR has tanked and has never been able to come up above 50, even though his interceptions are fewer than in years prior. It’s no surprise that Eli was benched this year as his play has been decreasing for the past four years. Not only the current play on the field, but the past data points indicate he was in decline. Rivers, on the other hand, is hard to predict. He has been able to steadily increase his QBR and lower his interceptions since 2015. Whereas Eli had a history of decline, Rivers has a recent history of improvement.

Therefore, The Cornercube predicts that Rivers will have a decline similar to what Peyton Manning had in his 2015 season. In 2014 Peyton had a QBR of 72 and then suddenly dropped to a QBR of 49.3 during the 2015 season. Rivers had a QBR of 69.1 in 2018 and currently holds a QBR of 46.0 through Week 11 of the 2019 NFL season. Both had drastic QBR drops from one season to the next and the QBRs are under 50. For a veteran quarterback to have a QBR under 50 is a tell-tale sign that the end is near. For Peyton he retired immediately after the 2015 season.

There are certain things a viewer is expected to see when watching Phillip Rivers play: (1) having to hear how many kids he has; (2) having to hear how he and Eli Manning were traded during the 2004 NFL draft; (3) seeing him cry and yell (he is a tool); (4) and now watching him throw picks, panic in the pocket, and do anything he can to go three and out so he no longer has to be on the field. Peyton Manning might have physically deteriorated in 2015, but he didn’t panic.