Should Will Smith's Characters be Viewed as Creeps?

Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom. Alex “Hitch” Hitchens is the founder of that infallible, romantic, endearing quote, and, yet, most people are confused as to who is Mr. Hitchens. The actor, Will Smith, played Mr. Hitchens in the 2006 romantic/comedy film called, Hitch. In that movie Smith acted as this cool, collective, “love coach” who assisted clumsy (and extremely white) Kevin James win the lady of his dreams, but at the same time struggles to use his own talents to win his very own romantic preference, played by Eva Mendes. Although Mr. Hitchens is no longer found in theatres, but rather lost to late night cable TV, he still seeps through the cracks of all of Will Smith’s characters.

Will Smith is as much Mr. Hitchens as Mr. Hitchens is Will Smith. In every Will Smith movie he is paired with a lavish and younger actress to play his romantic partner. Below is a “back of envelope” table illustrating each Will Smith movie in which he engaged in a romantic relationship, the actress’ name,  current age, and the age difference between them.

Will Smith's Women
Movie Title	Smith's Age	Actress' Name	Actress' Age	Age Difference
Bad Boys	51.00	Tea Leoni	53	-2.00
Independence Day	51.00	Vivica A. Fox	55	-4.00
Men In Black II	51.00	Rosario Dawson	40	11.00
Bad Boys II	51.00	Gabrielle Union	46	5.00
I, Robot	51.00	Bridget Monynaham	48	3.00
Hitch	51.00	Eva Mendes	45	6.00
Pursuit of Happyness	51.00	Thandie Newton	47	4.00
I am Legend	51.00	Alice Braga Moraes	36	15.00
Hancock	51.00	Charlize Theron	44	7.00
Focus	51.00	Margot Robbie	29	22.00
Collateral Beauty	51.00	Naomie Harris	43	8.00
Aladdin	51.00	Nasim Pedrad	38	13.00

 

The above data discloses, for the most part, that although Smith is typically older than his paired love interest, he is not significantly older. However, there are a few outliers and these outliers should not go without remark. Men in Black II is the first instance in which Will Smith’s love affair with considerably younger actresses occurs. Rosario Dawson is portrayed as Laura Vasquez, a young woman disguised as a pizzeria waitress but really the alien princess from the planet of Zartha. Smith’s attraction is so powerful towards this extraterrestrial royalty that he refuses to neuralyze her, to erase her memories from his investigation of an alien crime scene that occurred on earth at Laura’s work.

The issue with this example is that albeit Dawson is eleven years junior to Smith, her character is not human, but rather disguised as human. Can a human love an alien? It’s a philosophical question for the ages and one which the good people at CornerCube cannot accurately dig into as the only hint that Smith has attraction for Dawson is in but this short scene. Mr. Hitchens might have been won over by E.T.’s aunt, but the evidence lacks the necessary validity to prove that the pairing was, and that the love was “creepy.” It may have been just a mere awing moment of a woman’s, er … alien’s beauty.

The next example occurs in the post-apocalyptic/vampire world adventure called I am Legend. In this book adapted into screenplay Smith plays the lone survivor named, Dr. Neville. Neville along with his dog, Sam, must survive in a world full of vampires. So, suffice to say that Neville is surprised to have been saved by Anna (played by Alice Braga Moraes, who is a decade and half Smith’s junior) and a young child, Ethan. Anna and Neville’s relationship never gets as intense or romantic as others but considering that Neville and Anna may be the only humans left and considering that it has been some time since Neville has seen another human, let alone female, it wouldn’t be surprising for him to have felt some sort of romantic affinity. Furthermore, Anna serves bacon to Neville the morning after he is saved. This sign of gratuity, thoughtfulness, and kindness may just be that – an act of kindness – but it may also be Anna’s way of attempting to court Neville. Afterall, in a post-apocalyptic world where survival matters more than jewels, bacon, the crown jewel of all basic meats, might be worth far more than a diamond necklace.   Based off that projection, it is worth believing that Anna had feelings for Neville.  So Cornercube has decided that with Smith nearing the legal driving age by the time Moraes exited her mother’s womb, it has been determined that this possible flirtation is borderline disturbing.

Absent any explicit romance between Smith and Moraes, there is evidence that Smith’s character, Neville, did have previous romantic feelings for his wife, Zoe Neville (played by Salli Richardson who is 2 years Smith’s senior), who died in the vampire apocalypse. Flashbacks allow the viewer to understand, without doubt, that Neville was in love with Zoe, so much so that they conceived a child, Marley (played, ironically, by Smith’s actual daughter, Willow Smith. Got to love nepotism!), another apocalypse victim.  Upon realizing that Smith’s character had a relatively romantic relationship, and that Anna is the only other female human he has seen in ages, Smith deserves some leniency on the “creep” factor.

However, a pass cannot be given to the romantic relationship in the 2015 movie called, Focus. Two con artists engage in a tit for tat romantic relationship in order to elevate their own criminal careers. Eventually they work so closely together that they can’t help but conjure up, not a fake, but real love for each other. This would be fine if Smith (who plays the veteran con-man named, Nicky) and Margot Robbie (who plays the novice con-woman, Jess) weren’t over two decades apart in age.  Smith’s children, Jaden and Willow, are closer in age to Margot Robbie than their father is. Robbie, born in 1990, is only 8 years older than Jaden and a decade older than Willow. Will is 22 years older than Robbie, which would make him cast better as Margot Robbie’s father, than the sexual companion she portrays in Focus. And that’s the disturbing part of this entire analysis.

In each of the above examples there was never any sexual engagement between the characters, it was simply a “tinge” of romance. Yet in the movie in which Smith has the largest age gap (Focus), he is required to act as though his character and Robbie’s had coitus. Further, in the other movie examples there were at least plausible excuses. Men In Black II was a romance with a disguised alien (extraterrestrials are in their own league! Who are we to judge?) and I am Legend was a post-apocalyptic.  There is a very real possibility that if the human race wanted to continue, then Smith and Moraes would have to become the second coming of Adam and Eve.  But in regard to Focus, Cornercube has no choice but to grade this film “extremely creepy.” Its setting is not some desperate time period in which humanity’s future existence rests on their sole lives, nor is Robbie even close to being alien. Instead what we have here are two con artists who use their wits to seduce each other no matter the level of insincerity and highly unlikely chance that the relationship should blossom.

In his most recent movie Smith plays the gigantic, extremely muscular, and smooth-talking genie in Aladdin. Not only was Smith able to achieve the favorable gaze of princess Jasmine’s handmaid (played by Nasim Pedrad, who 13 years Smith’s junior), but he was still able to accomplish this after Nasim’s character saw him as the genie! Of course, Smith would come into human form when surrounded by other humans, so not to reveal his true identity.  So Nasim’s initial attractiveness is like that in Focus. Yet because Smith has aged, he shows tints of grey in his signature goatee, that not even CGI was able to erase. This noticeable piece of maturity cast against the young looking 36-year-old Nasim is again unsettling. However, because this is a Disney movie it never reaches the pinnacle of awkwardness or obscenity as that of Focus. Further, Nasim, after seeing and learning that Smith is a giant BLUE genie, does not retreat from her previous level of attractiveness towards her lava lamp like Prince Charming, but rather continues to pursue him. Nasim’s persistence and nonjudgmental attitude might be a subtle undertone that Disney developed – do not judge love based on looks. On the other hand, it may be perfectly acceptable that Nasim’s character, who has been locked away, dressing, organizing, and executing every deed that the princess asks, is attracted to the first man who approaches her – even if that man is a giant blue, lamp like genie.

So why are the good people at CornerCube the first to conjure up the absurdity in Will Smith’s romantic film partners? It may be because that people really don’t care. They know Will Smith and they figure that if the absurdity isn’t a central theme in the film, then no need to let it question their minds as they let their mouths fill with overly buttered popcorn and their eyes stare into the great magnificence that is the silver screen. The other and the more sincere response may be that “love is love.” Age differences in mature/legal relationships shouldn’t matter (unless of course you are speaking of a Jeff Epstein like age difference, then it is extremely disgusting, not to mention criminal). Yet, this idea is well suited and easy to swallow like all change over time. The audience can only learn about the characters within a two-hour time span and within that interval thoughts, ideas, and prejudices develop without being fully exonerated because the exoneration must take more than the time allotted in the movie.

However, the most likely answer for why Will Smith continues to be paired with actresses, in a romantic role and who are substantially younger than he is, is  because of the sitcom Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That show not only made Will Smith, but it made all adolescent American males want to be like Will Smith – physically gifted, smooth talking, morally upstanding, and a forgivably young American male. Will was the coolest guy in the show and made those around him feel cool. He had the ability to  protect the rich upper crust of Bel Air, while also speaking jive to his buddies from Philly. Mr. Hitchens, from Hitch, isn’t a new character but just an older Will from Fresh Prince. The genie, Agent J (from Men in Black), and Nicky (the smooth-talking conman in Focus) are just variations of Will from Fresh Prince, tailored to suit each of the aforementioned films. Will Smith today also hasn’t changed all that much physically from the Fresh Prince Will. He has aged gracefully, permitting him to get by being paired with younger women. How long will this last? Who knows? What we do know is that: any man can sweep any woman off her feet, as long as that man is Will Smith. 

 

 

 

Skip The Races, Track & Field's Corruption is More Fun To Watch

The sport of track and field is what Notre Dame football is today – an organization basked in glory for achievements awarded several decades ago. For most Americans track and field is watched either (1) every four years during the Summer Olympics and/or (2) when their unathletic child is relegated to the most basic of all sports because he/she was unable to use hand eye coordination effectively to perform decently in a stick and ball sport (I can say this because I was an unathletic child relegated to track and field).

Even the most revered track and field stars aren’t remembered for their actual winning, but more for winning under certain circumstances. Jackie Owen won 4 gold medals in the 1936 Berlin Summer Olympics. Think of all the things needed to be lined up for Owen to be remembered through time: (1) he had to be a minority (2) the Olympics were held in a time and place where Nazi Germany was dominating Europe (3) he had to be an American (4) and he had to win. If any of these four things did not happen, Jackie Owens would be as famous as Jaws 3 (yeah that’s right, the movie studios tried to make a Jaws Universe…). If Owen was British and won all those medals, Americans wouldn’t care and in turn, the world wouldn’t remember. Why? Because America is like what Disney is as a movie studio whereas Britain is more like Lionsgate. In other words, although you personally might not care about the newest Avengers movie coming out, you’ll be hard-pressed to not have heard about it. That’s what America is like when it accomplishes something – the whole world will know about it, regardless if the whole world really cares, because America will make the world care.

Track and field is also remembered for its doping more so than its winnings. Ben Johnson, the Canadian sprinter, was disqualified from his gold medal in the 100 meters that took place in the 1988 Seoul Summer Olympics. This was made famous for several reasons: the first is that Carl Lewis, an American, would receive the 1988 gold medal and, secondly, Ben Johnson’s defense for doping did not vindicate him but rather implicated more of his fellow sprinters. Johnson’s defense was that he only used steroids in order to be able to more effectively compete with all the other sprinters who were also using steroids. Ironically, a report disclosed in 2003 by Wade Exum, the United States Olympic Committee’s director of drug control administration from 1991 to 2000, issued documents that revealed that 100 American athletes failed drug tests from 1988 to 2000. The documents revealed that Carl Lewis failed three drug tests in 1988 and should have been prevented from competing in the Olympics.

Of course, the Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis stimulants were self-prescribed, whereas South African runner, Caster Semenya, was ordered to undergo “sex verification” testing after winning gold in the 800-meter at the 2009 World Championship. The international track officials ordered such testing due to her muscular physique and vast improvement. In the end the test results were never shared, and Caster was able to keep both her prize money and gold medal. Again, track and field entertains the viewers, not from the stories made at the finish line, but the stories made from it.

Rather than go into full fledge details, let me just end with this example – Caitlyn Jenner. Need I say more?

So, with all the off the track story lines hovering around this ancient, respected, boring sport, it Is no wonder that USA Track and Field, Inc., the nation’s track and field governing body, is in a leadership feud masked in all sorts of corruption. In 2016 Vin Lananna was elected as the USATF’s President, which holds a spot on the governing body’s board of directors. Lananna also operates a non-profit called TrackTown USA and Lananna is also an Associate Athletic Director of the University of Oregon since 2005. TrackTown helps facilitate certain international track events in America. One of these events, the 2021 World Championships, was awarded to Eugene, Oregon. However, the bidding process was nonexistent. The IAAF (the international body which governs and awards the venues for the races) bypassed the usual bidding process. The sole bidder, Vin’s TrackTown USA, won the 2015 bid even though Sweden pleaded that it wanted to place a bid but was unable to due to the IAAF awarding the 2021 World Championships to Oregon. In 2018 the U.S. Department of Justice got involved and questioned Vin regarding the TrackTown and the IAAF’s bidding process. In light of the federal questioning, the USATF board elected to place Vin on leave. Vin has been on leave since February of 2018.

This past February Vin filed a grievance with the USATF, claiming that he should be reinstated as the governing body’s president and that the directors violated the organization’s bylaws by placing him on leave, which is a power relegated to the broader organization’s membership. What becomes even more insightful is that Vin’s grievance alleged that in July of 2018 the board chair, Steve Miller, would allow Vin back as president, if he promised to support a bylaw change that would allow Miller to remain as the governing body’s chair. Miller was to end his tenure as a board member at the end of 2018 due to term limits set in the organization’s bylaws. Vin refused the deal, and because the bylaws weren’t changed Miller is no longer on the board. Please note that both positions, the president and chair, receive no payment in their roles.

So, what to make of all this corruption? Nothing really. This seems to be what keeps track and field in the lime light. If there weren’t any steroid issues back in the Summer of 1988, Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis would have been, most likely, forgotten. Jackie Owen stays relevant not because of his accomplishments, but because of the setting in which those accomplishments were completed. Then without Bruce turning into Caitlyn, he mostly would have been remembered as the “middle aged, one too many plastic surgeries, pale guy, who can’t stop staring at the backsides of his step-daughters” in Keeping Up with the Kardashians. In other words, if track and field were without its off the course controversies, it would turn into your kid’s middle school track meet all over again – something that you felt obligated to watch but given the opportunity would do anything else instead.

An Unfortunate Tale Called, Josh Rosen

The 2019 NFL Draft has been officially over for about a week and a half. This year’s Draft was about as enticing as a sugar cookie without sugar. The slate of quarterbacks was two guys everyone knew (Kyler Murray and Dwayne Haskins) and a bunch of guys that people had to look up on Wikipedia when their names were called (Daniel Jones, Ryan Finley, and Drew Lock). Actually, what made this Draft, at least the first round, somewhat entertaining was the sheer inanity that the New York Giants’ general manager, Dave Gettleman and the Oakland Raiders’ brainless tyrant, John Gruden, used to make their picks. Gettleman picked quarterback Daniel Jones with the sixth overall pick even though most experts had Jones going around the 20/21 pick. Gruden used the fourth overall pick to select defensive end, Clelin Ferrell, who was expected to go fifteen spots later. However, it would be Josh Rosen, a quarterback selected with the 10^th overall pick by the Arizona Cardinals in the 2018 NFL Draft, who would make the 2019 NFL Draft most memorable.

Josh Rosen, in a way, could be stated to be the first NFL player to have been drafted twice. As cbssports.com’s Jason La Canfora iterated best, “the reality is . . . Rosen was the fifth quarterback selected in the 2019 draft, at pick No. 62, by the Dolphins, after fleecing Arizona.” That’s right. In a bizarre turn of events Miami gave up the 62^nd pick and a fifth-round pick in the 2020 draft in order to receive the 10^th overall pick from the 2018 draft.

How did this happen?

The best answer is that Arizona is a terribly managed organization. Arizona should have put Josh Rosen on the trade block before the free agency period opened. This failure was exacerbated when, with the first overall pick of the 2019 draft, the Cardinal’s, with the “leadership” of their general manager, Steve Keim, selected Oklahoma quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner, Kyler Murray. Essentially it is well established that if a player, any player, but especially a quarterback is taken in the first round they are typically going to be starting sooner than later. Furthermore, unlike an offensive lineman, defender, or running back, there is usually only one quarterback who will start in a game. So, when Murray was picked, every NFL team knew that Arizona now had two quarterbacks, one of which they took with the first overall pick and the other would be contributing to his team by sitting on the bench. The trade appeal for Josh Rosen, or the asking price, just tanked for the Cardinals.

In many respects Josh Rosen is most likely glad he was traded. The dumpster fire Keim has continually fueled doesn’t seem to be letting up. In the offseason, prior to the start of the 2018 season, Keim was provided a contract extension after being arrested for a DUI. Keim then signed veteran quarterback, Sam Bradford, but would later trade three picks to move up so that Keim could select Rosen with the tenth overall pick of the 2018 NFL Draft. Now Keim has traded Rosen for the 62^nd pick.

In his one year in the NFL, Rosen is now on his fourth offensive coordinator. He started out with offensive coordinator, Mike McCoy. McCoy would be fired after week 7 of the 2018 season. Byron Leftwich, the former Jaguars and Steelers quarterback, would be the heir to the offensive coordinator position. Leftwich was fired upon Keim firing his head coach, Steve Wilkes, after Wilkes only had the job for one season. Keim would then hire Kliff Kingsbury, former Texas Tech head coach and a coach with a losing record, who inserted his new offensive coordinator – Tom Clements. Now, Rosen is in South Beach being coached by Chad O’Shea.  This systematic changing of the offensive coordinator coupled with the fact that, according to Pro Football Focus, the Cardinals had the worse pass blocking offensive line in football last year, makes it no surprise that Josh Rosen struggled in his first year.

Will the Stars Be Brighter in Miami?

Unfortunately for Rosen, Miami seems like a dumpster fire in and of itself. Miami just hired a Bill Belichick disciple in Brian Flores. This would be a worthwhile selection if it wasn’t for the fact that Bill Belichick disciples have stunk as head coaches – Josh McDaniels, Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini, and Nick Saban (when he was an NFL coach). Then, of course, the same issues that plagued Arizona also plague the Dolphins – offensive line. Josh Rosen will be going from the 32^nd ranked offensive line to the 31^st ranked offensive line. That doesn’t seem to bode well for a guy who was sacked 45 times in just 14 games.

Finally, there is real concern that the Dolphins may, even without trying, “tank” this season and wind up with one of the top three draft picks in the 2020 draft. Many Dolphin fans have already set their sights on Alabama’s quarterback, Tua Tagoovailoa. If this were to happen, it seems Rosen will become a career backup. He will be remembered as an “involuntary bust.” An involuntary bust is a player who did not live up to expectations, not because his own doing, but his employer’s failure to fully develop their current talent. In Arizona, the front office got rid of the guys who coached Rosen just after a year, and then brought in their own quarterback to replace Rosen. In Miami the season will most likely be a dud with fingers pointed at Rosen and chants to “tank for Tua” growing even louder.

Rosen must play above and beyond this season in order to beat out Tua. That will be difficult to do considering Rosen is playing for a team whose season goal is to play bad enough to “earn” the “honor” to pick Tua.

Josh Rosen’s NFL starting career, although most likely will be brief, is a life lesson in how “being in the right place at the right time” can make all the difference.