Any guy can sweep any
girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom. Alex “Hitch” Hitchens is
the founder of that infallible, romantic, endearing quote, and, yet, most
people are confused as to who is Mr. Hitchens. The actor, Will Smith, played
Mr. Hitchens in the 2006 romantic/comedy film called, Hitch. In that movie Smith acted as this cool, collective, “love
coach” who assisted clumsy (and extremely white) Kevin James win the lady of
his dreams, but at the same time struggles to use his own talents to win his
very own romantic preference, played by Eva Mendes. Although Mr. Hitchens is no
longer found in theatres, but rather lost to late night cable TV, he still
seeps through the cracks of all of Will Smith’s characters.
Will Smith is as much Mr. Hitchens as Mr. Hitchens is Will
Smith. In every Will Smith movie he is paired with a lavish and younger actress
to play his romantic partner. Below is a “back of envelope” table illustrating
each Will Smith movie in which he engaged in a romantic relationship, the
actress’ name, current age, and the age
difference between them.
Will Smith's Women
|
||||
Movie Title
|
Smith's Age
|
Actress' Name
|
Actress' Age
|
Age Difference
|
Bad
Boys
|
51.00
|
Tea
Leoni
|
53
|
-2.00
|
Independence
Day
|
51.00
|
Vivica
A. Fox
|
55
|
-4.00
|
Men In Black II
|
51.00
|
Rosario Dawson
|
40
|
11.00
|
Bad
Boys II
|
51.00
|
Gabrielle
Union
|
46
|
5.00
|
I,
Robot
|
51.00
|
Bridget
Monynaham
|
48
|
3.00
|
Hitch
|
51.00
|
Eva
Mendes
|
45
|
6.00
|
Pursuit
of Happyness
|
51.00
|
Thandie
Newton
|
47
|
4.00
|
I am Legend
|
51.00
|
Alice Braga Moraes
|
36
|
15.00
|
Hancock
|
51.00
|
Charlize
Theron
|
44
|
7.00
|
Focus
|
51.00
|
Margot Robbie
|
29
|
22.00
|
Collateral
Beauty
|
51.00
|
Naomie
Harris
|
43
|
8.00
|
Aladdin
|
51.00
|
Nasim Pedrad
|
38
|
13.00
|
The above data discloses, for the most part, that although
Smith is typically older than his paired love interest, he is not significantly
older. However, there are a few outliers and these outliers should not go
without remark. Men in Black II is
the first instance in which Will Smith’s love affair with considerably younger
actresses occurs. Rosario Dawson is portrayed as Laura Vasquez, a young woman
disguised as a pizzeria waitress but really the alien princess from the planet
of Zartha. Smith’s attraction is so powerful towards this extraterrestrial
royalty that he refuses to neuralyze her, to erase her memories from his
investigation of an alien crime scene that occurred on earth at Laura’s work.
The issue with this example is that albeit Dawson is eleven
years junior to Smith, her character is not human, but rather disguised as
human. Can a human love an alien? It’s a philosophical question for the ages
and one which the good people at CornerCube
cannot accurately dig into as the only hint that Smith has attraction for
Dawson is in but this short scene. Mr. Hitchens might have been won over by
E.T.’s aunt, but the evidence lacks the necessary validity to prove that the
pairing was, and that the love was “creepy.” It may have been just a mere awing
moment of a woman’s, er … alien’s beauty.
The next example occurs in the post-apocalyptic/vampire
world adventure called I am Legend.
In this book adapted into screenplay Smith plays the lone survivor named, Dr.
Neville. Neville along with his dog, Sam, must survive in a world full of
vampires. So, suffice to say that Neville is surprised to have been saved by
Anna (played by Alice Braga Moraes, who is a decade and half Smith’s junior)
and a young child, Ethan. Anna and Neville’s relationship never gets as intense
or romantic as others but considering that Neville and Anna may be the only
humans left and considering that it has been some time since Neville has seen
another human, let alone female, it wouldn’t be surprising for him to have felt
some sort of romantic affinity. Furthermore, Anna serves bacon to Neville the
morning after he is saved. This sign of gratuity, thoughtfulness, and kindness
may just be that – an act of kindness – but it may also be Anna’s way of
attempting to court Neville. Afterall, in a post-apocalyptic world where
survival matters more than jewels, bacon, the crown jewel of all basic meats,
might be worth far more than a diamond necklace. Based off that projection, it is worth
believing that Anna had feelings for Neville.
So Cornercube has decided that
with Smith nearing the legal driving age by the time Moraes exited her mother’s
womb, it has been determined that this possible flirtation is borderline
disturbing.
Absent any explicit romance between Smith and Moraes, there
is evidence that Smith’s character, Neville, did have previous romantic
feelings for his wife, Zoe Neville (played by Salli Richardson who is 2 years
Smith’s senior), who died in the vampire apocalypse. Flashbacks allow the
viewer to understand, without doubt, that Neville was in love with Zoe, so much
so that they conceived a child, Marley (played, ironically, by Smith’s actual
daughter, Willow Smith. Got to love nepotism!), another apocalypse victim. Upon realizing that Smith’s character had a
relatively romantic relationship, and that Anna is the only other female human
he has seen in ages, Smith deserves some leniency on the “creep” factor.
However, a pass cannot be given to the romantic relationship
in the 2015 movie called, Focus. Two con
artists engage in a tit for tat romantic relationship in order to elevate their
own criminal careers. Eventually they work so closely together that they can’t
help but conjure up, not a fake, but real love for each other. This would be
fine if Smith (who plays the veteran con-man named, Nicky) and Margot Robbie
(who plays the novice con-woman, Jess) weren’t over two decades apart in age. Smith’s children, Jaden and Willow, are closer
in age to Margot Robbie than their father is. Robbie, born in 1990, is only 8
years older than Jaden and a decade older than Willow. Will is 22 years older
than Robbie, which would make him cast better as Margot Robbie’s father, than the
sexual companion she portrays in Focus.
And that’s the disturbing part of this entire analysis.
In each of the above examples there was never any sexual
engagement between the characters, it was simply a “tinge” of romance. Yet in the movie in which Smith has the
largest age gap (Focus), he is required to act as though his character
and Robbie’s had coitus. Further, in the other movie examples there were at
least plausible excuses. Men In Black II
was a romance with a disguised alien (extraterrestrials are in their own
league! Who are we to judge?) and I am
Legend was a post-apocalyptic. There
is a very real possibility that if the human race wanted to continue, then
Smith and Moraes would have to become the second coming of Adam and Eve. But in regard to Focus, Cornercube has no choice but to grade
this film “extremely creepy.” Its setting is not some desperate time period in
which humanity’s future existence rests on their sole lives, nor is Robbie even
close to being alien. Instead what we have here are two con artists who use
their wits to seduce each other no matter the level of insincerity and highly
unlikely chance that the relationship should blossom.
In his most recent movie Smith plays the gigantic, extremely
muscular, and smooth-talking genie in Aladdin. Not only was Smith able
to achieve the favorable gaze of princess Jasmine’s handmaid (played by Nasim
Pedrad, who 13 years Smith’s junior), but he was still able to accomplish this
after Nasim’s character saw him as the genie! Of course, Smith would come into human
form when surrounded by other humans, so not to reveal his true identity. So Nasim’s initial attractiveness is like
that in Focus. Yet because Smith has
aged, he shows tints of grey in his signature goatee, that not even CGI was
able to erase. This noticeable piece of maturity cast against the young looking
36-year-old Nasim is again unsettling. However, because this is a Disney movie
it never reaches the pinnacle of awkwardness or obscenity as that of Focus. Further, Nasim, after seeing and
learning that Smith is a giant BLUE genie, does not retreat from her previous
level of attractiveness towards her lava lamp like Prince Charming, but rather
continues to pursue him. Nasim’s persistence and nonjudgmental attitude might be
a subtle undertone that Disney developed – do not judge love based on looks. On
the other hand, it may be perfectly acceptable that Nasim’s character, who has
been locked away, dressing, organizing, and executing every deed that the
princess asks, is attracted to the first man who approaches her – even if that
man is a giant blue, lamp like genie.
So why are the good people at CornerCube the first to conjure up the absurdity in Will Smith’s
romantic film partners? It may be because that people really don’t care. They
know Will Smith and they figure that if the absurdity isn’t a central theme in
the film, then no need to let it question their minds as they let their mouths
fill with overly buttered popcorn and their eyes stare into the great
magnificence that is the silver screen. The other and the more sincere response
may be that “love is love.” Age differences in mature/legal relationships shouldn’t
matter (unless of course you are speaking of a Jeff Epstein like age difference,
then it is extremely disgusting, not to mention criminal). Yet, this idea is
well suited and easy to swallow like all change over time. The audience can only
learn about the characters within a two-hour time span and within that interval
thoughts, ideas, and prejudices develop without being fully exonerated because
the exoneration must take more than the time allotted in the movie.
However, the most likely answer for why Will Smith continues
to be paired with actresses, in a romantic role and who are substantially
younger than he is, is because of the
sitcom Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That
show not only made Will Smith, but it made all adolescent American males want
to be like Will Smith – physically gifted, smooth talking, morally upstanding,
and a forgivably young American male. Will was the coolest guy in the show and
made those around him feel cool. He had the ability to protect the
rich upper crust of Bel Air, while also speaking jive to his buddies from
Philly. Mr. Hitchens, from Hitch,
isn’t a new character but just an older Will from Fresh Prince. The genie, Agent J (from Men in Black), and Nicky (the smooth-talking conman in Focus) are just variations of Will from Fresh
Prince, tailored to suit each of the aforementioned films. Will Smith today
also hasn’t changed all that much physically from the Fresh Prince Will. He has aged gracefully, permitting him to get by
being paired with younger women. How long will this last? Who knows? What we do
know is that: any man can sweep any woman
off her feet, as long as that man is Will Smith.
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