2018 Browns' Chronicles: Week 2

That’s it folks! Week Dos of the NFL season is now in the books and Cleveland still remains winless since December 24, 2016, or also known to me as a Christmas miracle! Anyhow, the Browns lost (again) and lost in what many would call a dramatic and unique fashion (again). The Browns have the ability to keep their fans on edge and infuse them with the feeling of hope to make them falsely believe that they will be victorious, that this Sunday will be Cleveland’s. But as soon as that thought even materializes in a Browns fans’ head, the moment vanishes almost as swiftly as a Tyler Perry Madea movie leaves theatres. This vicious and ugly feeling most closely resembles former New York Jets and, subsequently, Buffalo Bills head coach, Rex Ryan encouraging his players and respective fans that his teams would win the AFC East and take down the Patriot Dynasty. However, as any layperson sports fan knows, this promise never came to fruition, as Rex Ryan is now playing paddy cake on NFL Live and Bill Belichickk is still coaching and winning with the Patriots. So let’s break down Week Dos!

1. Gonzalez is Gone.  I put this as my first topic because I think it is the most obvious one. It is also the lousiest excuse. Yes, there is no question Zane Gonzalez, the heralded kicker from Arizona State University, which ironically was also the university that produced the short lived, but highly expensive Browns’ quarterback Brock Osweiler, should have made both PATs and at least one of his two field goals. I naturally feel badly for kickers. They have one job, but their job matters typically either on fourth down, when time is about to expire, and/or during a game winning/tying situation. In other words people only earnestly care about kickers when the game is at its epicenter of calamity. Kickers are what “closers” are in baseball – called in late in the game, but when the game matters the most and they, by stepping onto the field, assume sole responsibility for the entire outcome of the game. But unlike closers, kickers have almost no leeway when it comes to screwing up.  That’s because football only has 17 weeks of actual life! Unlike a closer who may be able to get by with his coach saying, “he just has to get in a rhythm,” a kicker screws up once and he is cut. Kickers are like judges on American Idol.  Each year there is a whole new set of judges and the fans are left trying to figure out what happened to the last guy. This past week NFL kickers missed a total of 19 field goals and 7 extra points. Plus Zane wasn’t the only guy who received a pink slip, so did Vikings’ rookie kicker, Daniel Carlson.

So does the blame rest on the kickers? Some of it does. However, America has turned into a systematically linear thinking nation. Too often we have shown ourselves to be a nation that needs immediate results, has short patients, views matters of justice as simply “black or white,” and relies upon what we remember in the last five minutes. For instance, Americans hate being in traffic jams, but once out of traffic jams and continue their day, they forget they were ever in such a terrible mood to begin the morning. Another example would be modern day investment fund holders who demand a 10% return on investment within the first 18 months, rather than the typical and more reliable five-year investment period. So a kicker is a victim of football’s, and now America’s, personality – short sighted, irrational, highly agitated, and mostly impatient.

2. Offensive Play Calling. I think Todd Haley, the Browns’ offensive coordinator, proves some weeks why he is a highly effective coordinator and other weeks why teams have routinely let him go. Week 2 was an example of both, but because this blog looks at the Browns’ weekly issues (not strengths) we will only focus on how Haley coached like a second grader trying to write his name in cursive. On third and short a team, trying to move the ball, typically would not want to move the ball backwards in hopes of moving it forward. Another way of saying it is, if the first down is only 2 yards away, the quickest means of getting that first down is to run up the middle in a straight line. The Browns, in typical Browns’ fashion, decided to try and “smoke screen” the Saints and do a double wide receiver reverse. So we pitched the ball back five yards in one direction and then pitched the ball back again. Instead of trying to gain two yards, the Browns decided to try to gain seven yards. So the Browns, on their own accord and under their own consent, chose to pick a play that would take a third and manageable and make it a third and long. So, in my book, I would consider this an idiotic decision on par with Zane Gonzalez missing an extra point. However, this play was just one when Haley would choose plays that seemed out of character for either the yardage needed, or the personnel situated on the field. At one-point Haley opted to employ Duke Johnson, the Browns’ talented, speedy and quick running back, as a power back. This was quite odd because the Browns specifically signed a power back in the offseason for just this sort of task – his name is Carlos Hyde.

The odd play calling (running initially laterally before running north/south) suggest to me that either Haley feared the Saints’ interior defense or has no faith in the Browns’ offensive line. The offensive line did do better in that they only allowed three sacks this week, and Taylor only scrambled for 26 yards. The other plus was the fact that Carlos Hyde was the lead rusher, not the quarterback. The downside seems to be that Taylor was the second leading rusher and that Hyde, the leading rusher, had just 46 yards of rushing on 16 carries. The Buccaneers, the week prior, mustered 112 rushing yards and their leading rusher, the running back Barber, rushed for 69 yards on 19 carries.

3. Front Office. Although this did not happen in the week 2 game, it just added to the misfortune that is the Browns. Cleveland announced on Saturday that they were going to release highly talented but routinely misguided, wide receiver Josh Gordon.  However, as if the Browns just found out that they could trade Josh Gordon rather than simply release him, they announced they were vetting different offers for Josh Gordon, from other teams. Naturally, Bill Belichick, who next to winning Super Bowls, salivates at the joy of screwing his former employer, the Browns, traded for Josh Gordon. John Dorsey, the Browns GM, agreed to this trade. In return for the highly coveted wide receiver, the Browns received a fifth-round draft pick. If this was the best offer the Browns received for Gordon, and they claimed to have received close to ten or more different offers, it would appear many teams have little faith that Gordon will be able to compete in the NFL due to his personal issues. The Browns also, as usual, shot themselves in the foot at the onset of negotiations by declaring to the world that they were going to release Gordon and in turn, teams could start to bid for him. Realizing this, most teams weren’t going to trade too much for Gordon as the Browns were already going to kick him to the curb.  So naturally teams are only offering to trade with the Browns so that they don’t have to go through the excruciating task of bidding for Gordon. 

Go Browns! Beat the Jets!